


The Thing From Under the Sofa

by Telesilla



Category: Lord of the Rings RPF
Genre: Drugs, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-05-12
Updated: 2006-05-12
Packaged: 2017-10-05 13:48:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/42391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Telesilla/pseuds/Telesilla
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Orlando, Viggo and Sean hit the pipe and then get creative with dust bunnies.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Thing From Under the Sofa

**Author's Note:**

  * For [green_grrl](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=green_grrl).



"Hugo's way too easy," Sean says, taking a gulp of his beer. "Challenge me here," Before either Orlando or Viggo can say anything, he belches, saying Hugo's full name at the same time.

"Bloody hell," Orlando says. "That's talent."

"He cheated," Viggo says, getting a good draw on the pipe. He sucks down a lungful of smoke and hands it over to Sean.

"I did not," Sean says before taking a hit.

"You drank beer," Viggo says with a snort. He swallows some air and then belches Hugo's name. "How's that?"

"Pathetic," Sean insists, reaching over to smack Orlando on the back.

"Fucker," Orlando says, wheezing. "Don't do that when I'm trying to smoke." He giggles and reaches for the pipe, but Sean holds it out of reach, lighting it up again.

"Weren't even lit," he says, "so you couldn't have been smoking."

"It _was_ me coughing that let it go out," Orlando insists. "And that's all Viggo's fault!"

"Hmmm?" Viggo says, looking up from pile of paper and magazines he's digging through. "Hey anyone seen my...fuck, where'd it go?"

"Gimme that," Orlando says, taking the pipe from Sean. "Wotcher looking for?" he asks, reaching for a Cockney accent.

"Not bad," Sean says, stripping off his shirt. "Fucking hot in here." He looks down at Viggo, who's rolled over on his side and is looking under the sofa.

"Hey, we have some fucking ginormous dust bunnies under here," Viggo says, pulling out a particularly large clump of dust and cat hair.

"Sean's fault," Orlando says. "He's the one who keeps feeding that damn cat."

"Hoppity hop hop hop," Viggo says, hopping the dust bunny towards Sean. "Sean Mark Bean, your time is nigh."

"What is this new devilry?" Sean says, pulling back.

"A Bunrog," Viggo intones, his delivery suffering somewhat due to his giggling. "A demon of the ancient sofa."

"For you went needlessly into the net of," Orlando begins, choking on his own laughter.

"Somewhere scary!" Viggo announces, shaking the dust bunny at Sean. The dust bunny, never very cohesive, comes apart, raining dust and cat hair onto Viggo's arm.

"Alas poor Bunrog," Sean says, snickering madly. "I knew him, Horatio."

"Be at peace," Viggo says, "Son of the Sofa."

"The Fellowship is broken," Orlando says getting to his feet, where he sways a bit before getting his balance. "Let's hunt some...snack!"

"I gotcher snack right here," Viggo says, grabbing his crotch.

"Alright then," Orlando says, dropping back to his knees. He leans forward and barely misses hitting his head on the coffee table. "Let's hunt some prick."

"Works for me," Sean says, moving behind Viggo. He grabs Viggo's arms, pulling them back and bending to deliver a sloppy kiss to Viggo's neck.

After a lot of fumbling and giggling, Orlando manages to get Viggo's jeans off him. "Fuckin' hippy...he's not wearing knickers."

"I'm not wearing pants," Viggo says, trying for a newscaster voice. "Film at 11."

"Hush you," Sean says, leaning forward and rubbing his cheek against Viggo's. Viggo turns to meet Sean, kissing him hard and moaning into Sean's mouth as he feels Orlando's breath and then mouth on his cock.

"Want to fuck you Vig," Sean murmurs when he finally pulls back to nuzzle at Viggo's neck. "Want to fuck you right down Orli's throat."

His urge to giggle gone, Viggo spreads his legs and moans again as he feels Sean behind him struggling to get out of his clothes. In front of him, Orlando is slowly licking at his cock, making Viggo want to grab him by the sides of his head and push him down over it.

"Fuck," Sean growls as he moves behind Viggo again. "Anyone know where the cunting lube is?"

"Use spit," Viggo says, reaching back and fumbling for one of Sean hands. After a moment spent maneuvering, he gets it to his mouth, where he starts licking and sucking Sean's fingers, doing his best to get them good and wet.

It only seems like a second later that Sean's shoving into Viggo hard and Viggo blinks. If he weren't so busy trying to push back against Sean's cock and forward against Orlando's mouth--which has _finally_ taken Viggo's cock in--at the same time, he'd wonder where the time went.

As it is, he keeps getting tripped up on the rhythm and finally Sean grabs his hips hard and holds him still. "Don't want you to choke Orli," he says in Viggo's ear before biting down on Viggo's shoulder. "You alright down there?"

"Mumph," Orlando says, and Viggo catches his breath at way the vibrations feel on his cock.

"Fuck...oh fuck, guys," he gasps, writhing against Sean's hands. He's soon babbling and grasping at Orlando's shoulders as Sean pounds into him. "Need...oh fuck...." he groans as Sean reaches around and taps Orlando on the shoulder. "No...wait!" Viggo yelps as Orlando sits back and grins at him until Sean shoves Viggo forward and fucks him even harder.

Even stoned, Sean's sneaky as all fuck and Viggo fights to get a better angle, but Sean won't let him. When Sean bites down again on his shoulder, Viggo's prepared for the muffled grunt and the final hard thrust as Sean comes. "Bastard," he mumbles as Sean pulls away. "'m fucking dying here."

"My turn then," Orlando says, giggling a little. Viggo lets Sean guide him back onto Orlando's cock, and he finds himself wondering if Sean actually took very many hits tonight. _Sean,_ he thinks as Orlando pushes in and begins fucking him, _is perfectly capable of being silly without chemical assistance._

Pressing up against Viggo, Sean shoves him back onto Orlando's cock and kisses him hard. When Viggo starts whimpering into Sean's mouth, sure he's going to simply combust if he doesn't come, Sean reaches down and strokes Viggo's cock hard. He leans against Viggo, and Orlando leans forward until they're kissing each other over Viggo's shoulder.

Oddly enough it's the sound of them kissing right in his ear that sets Viggo off. He comes with a harsh cry that's echoed as Orlando pulls away from Sean's mouth, slams into Viggo two more times and then comes, his hands going tight on Viggo's hips.

As they fall into a sticky, sweaty, dope-scented heap, Viggo finds himself looking at a small piece of paper. "Hey," he says. "It's that thing! I was looking for that earlier."

As Orlando begins to laugh hysterically again, Sean just shakes his head. "Fuckin' weirdoes," he grumbles, pulling Viggo close. "Daft buggers."

_-end-_

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [](http://green-grrl.livejournal.com/profile)[**green_grrl**](http://green-grrl.livejournal.com/) who asked for Silly Viggo/Bean/Orlando from my [28 Fic Meme](http://telesilla.livejournal.com/417612.html) list. Thanks to [](http://kyuuketsukirui.livejournal.com/profile)[**kyuuketsukirui**](http://kyuuketsukirui.livejournal.com/) for reminding me of that thing guys do with the burping and the talking.


End file.
